Ham!Sans

“Oi mates, let’s get baked into da 69th dimension!”

-Ham!Sans speaking to his cultist

Jasús
He’s an edgy 15 year old you’d find on r/Iamverybadass. He does a megaton of drugs to “mAsK tHe PaIn,” since he lives in an edge-fest. Let’s also add the cliche depression into the mix too cause every character who has a sad life is depressed, right? He’s extremely introvert and only opens up to Adam Sandler. That’s about it really, he’s just an edgy, meth-head teen who has mommy issues.

Ham!Sans/Hamsús
This quote about Cthusús from Wendy’s should sum him up: “the craziest fuckin crackhead ever.”

Deenutz
It’s basically a perfect little Gary Sue that literally just “Infected but a cheesy good guy,” as endless binary called him. That’s it, a flawless Gary Sue. But if you trigger his PTSD then BAM, HE BECOMES EVIL AGAIN! MWAHAAHAHAHA!

Jasús
It’s literally just sans but wearing green clothes....I kid you not.

Hamsús
This one’s just a horror sans clone but with a slash cause “SlAsHeS mEaN mY sNaS iS oP.” He also has one eye pitch black the other just glowing white. On his head is a brown patch that somehow stays on the hard bones. Out of this crack in his head pours out a thick, purple mist, essentially where the smoke from purple joint he blows goes out. Aside from that it’s fucking horror sans lol. He also has those little wisp things floating around him that he calls his pets sometimes.

Hamsús H.E.N.T.A.I. Form
Holy fuck is this a form change. It’s like making a magical dog’s special form fuckin azathoath. So it’s like this pitch black worm thing that floats and it has a ghost tail at the end. His wisp also float around him too so that’s pretty cool. Well it’s face is just a big mouth that, wouldn’t you know, has purple smoke that pours out of the mouth. Unlike most worms though, this abomination has really long and wispy arms too that he doesn’t really use. Why? We-hell, this is why it’s called H.E.N.T.A.I. form! He has a megaton of tentacles on his back that he used for grabbing things and....and.... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

Hamsús DRUG-LORD Form
Well let’s just take the eldritch abomination that is Ham!Sans’s HENTAI form and make it a less cool-lookin humanoid thing. So it’s your classic black ghost with a ghost tail but the arms and head are detached and floating around it. The top of its head is shaped like a weed plant but purple. He holds a massive, purple joint that he basically uses as his most powerful attack. The faces of the cultist he turned into his pets are also fused on his body cause why not.

DEENUTZ
It’s gotta be the least original design tbh…no that’s just his normal form. It’s sans but in a black cloak and white patterns on the cloak- eh that sounds kinda familiar actually....hm idk, maybe like an Error404 recolor. Meh, just a thought. He has a scar on his left eye- you know what? This sounds like EPIC!SANS. HMMMMMM

Backstory
Jasús had a really mean and inconsiderate mother who was literally gender-bent Gaster, I kid you not, who I’m gonna call Emptiness Queen. Well anyway, Emptiness Queen was too busy doing experiments when Stellar Milf appeared in that universe cause she’s a multiversal human-tracker, duh! Well anyway she keeps Jasús and his brother, Harry Potter, in cages until Harry offers Space Mommy anything for being let out. Fuck did Stellar Milf abuse this....well anyway, that proposition from Harry wasn’t the only thing being abused. Space Mommy just dumped these these two kids into the care of Dekios just like she did with Adam Sandler and Willy Wonka. Since Alphatale’s edgy in case you didn’t know, Jasús was abused by Wendy’s cause she generally didn’t like him. Well to add more edge to the story, Jasús usually smoked in his room, being an introvert who played League of Legends, had anime body pillows, and got high to ease the pain in this edge-fest. Well anyway, Jasús starts becoming friends with Adam Sandler who starts sticking up for Jasús.

Well anyway, Jasús is going to his dealer one day when he finds out the dealer was abducted and sacrificed by a cult dedicated to Cthulu. Jasús being a high idiot at that moment gets pissed off with the cultist who decide to sacrifice him too to Cthulu. When Jasús died he saw Cthulu who was apparently dying. Cthulu sucked the life out of the drug dealer cause Cthulu’s now apparently dying. Cthulu sees Jasús and has this bright idea: what if he fused with Jasús so they could become some chaotic, evil, plot-armored antagonist? So cthulu also being an all-seeing eldritch abomination is like “yo so I know you abused a lot Jasús. So how bout we just fuck up everything?” Jasús is just like “yooooo dab me up!” Then Jasús’s corpse awakens now being controlled by fucking Cthulu cause now Cthulu’s a backstabbing body stealer like Bill Cipher. Well anyway Cthulu just takes the souls of the cultist and makes them his little pets for some reason. Well anyway, Cthulu rains absolute fucking havoc on Betatale, but our heroes Billy Mays, Adam Sandler, and Harry Potter who all pulled power out of their ass teamed up with Harley Quinya, Dekios, Frisk, and Chara all defeat this eldritch abomination.

After that though, Jasús gets the power and is like “fuck it, I’m insane now,” and proceeds to kill Chara and Frisk with ease since he’s “Supar opee,” traps Harry Potter in the fucking Harry Potter novels, kills Harley Quinya and Dekios, and just beats up Billy Mays. Billy Mays has one of those cliche moments where he sees a dead person he loved, Chara in this case, and wakes up just fine cause he’s a Gary Sue. Well now their in the antivoid where Jasús, now known as Hamsús, is about to kill Billy when Ben-Ten-No-Camila shows up and is like “yo take this power and become fucking god byeeee,” which then leads to a sanscentric DBZ. After Hamsús is beaten in the Supar dupar eBic “final,” battle, Jasús becomes an absolute Gary Sue called DEENUTZ who is literally just fucking perfect except for when his PTSD triggers. Then Willy and DEENUTZ go in to “challenge the fuckin gods.”

“Puffs”
Hamsús called the little wisp things he turned the cultists into puffs. Basically they can attack people and cause massive fucking explosions.

A cliche axe
Well it appears as though Hamsús has an axe....just like horror sans. It’s white though so that apparently makes all the difference. The axe could also be swung around due to the blade being attached to a chain that comes out of fuckin no where. Why does this axe do this? To be more original, duh!

High!Blaster
A Gaster Blaster that’s eyes are bloodshot and shoot purple beams. These beams also have a smoke around them that makes people high as fuck.

Bones
Does this need any explanation? All sanses have the ability to use osteokinesis or the manipulation of bones.

High as Hell
The dude’s so high that he doesn’t feel shit. This also makes him pretend to pass out sometimes and then just slap you silly when you’re back is turned. To add onto this he’s so high that he doesn’t need a mind to function due to him being “baked into the 69th dimension.”

R/CursedWeapons
Holy Shit, Hamsús has a whip that is literally the spine of a skeleton.

Smoke weed Everyday
Ham!Sans could blow puffs of smoke that boost his power and turn him into some sort of shadowy thingy. This same smoke can also coat the battlefield in a red smoke that’ll instantly bake the opponent into the 69th dimension,

AHHHHHHHHH
A scream that..let’s infected summon genocidal lunatics? What the fuck?

Yeh makin me mad!
Hamsús could blow a massive ass laser beam from his purple cigar that could even bake the DBZ cast into the 69th dimension.

WAS THAT THE BITE OF ‘87?!
So if Ham!sans burns his opponent’s corpse into ashes or snorts his enemy’s dust, he gets their powers. He can also just fuckin flay eat em. He also searches for dead memes to use them or eat em for power.

Bloodshot eyes (H.E.N.T.A.I. Form exclusive)
So if anyone looks into the eyes of Ham!Sans in his H.E.N.T.A.I. form then they begin to foam from the mouth cause they “can’t handle the 69th dimension.”

BOO! (H.E.N.T.A.I. Form exclusive)
Wow this is weird ability. Apparently Ham!Sans could smoke peoples’ fears into existence in his H.E.N.T.A.I. form.

Giga Chad (DRUG-LORD Form exclusive)
When in his DRUG-LORD form, Hamsús is as hot as the fucking sun...literally.

The Omni-Joint (DRUG-LORD Form exclusive)
A big, purple cigar that Hamsús uses to slap the shit out of people with in his DRUG-LORD form. He also uses this to use the previously mentioned smoke attacks.

H.E.R.O.I.N.
The final attack of Hamsús when he’s so high that he gets baked into the 42069th dimension and whenever he puffs from his cigars everything just fucking dies.

Chad!Sans/Adam Sandler
When he was Jasús the two were best friends and Adam usually stuck up for Jasús. After Jasús got baked into oblivion though and became Ham!Sans, he just didn’t give a shit anymore and kinda lost interest in Adam Sandler.

ERRRRRR404/Billy Mays
The two got along for the most part when Jasús was normal. They didn’t really do much together and kinda just both tagged along with Adam Sandler. After Jasús became the most baked being in the omniverse though Errrrrr404 and Hamsús became like Freiza and Goku. After becoming a Gary Sue though, Jasús and Billy Mays were kinda friends afterward, usually getting high together.

OP!Sans/Harry Potter
Jasús and Harry Potter were brothers and got along rather well. After Jasús became Hamsús though, Hamsús lost interest in his brother and trapped him in a fuckin book. Whenever he was freed, Harry became a salty anime protagonist who swore to defeat Hamsús and get his brother back. Whenever Hamsús became DEENUTZ, they became best friends and always chilled with each other.

Dekios
Dekios was a father figure to Jasús and Harres who died after Cthulu reigned havoc.

The Space Mommy
Utter god damn hatred. Jasús was abused by this bitch a lot so he hates her.

Gender-Bent Gaster
She was the mother of Jasús and Harry who kinda just forgot about them until they got kidnapped by Space Mommy. Even then she kinda just left them.

Trivia

 * Jasús’s favorite drug is Weed


 * The wisps don’t really speak...they just scream. Hamsús understands this somehow.


 * Hamsús had a crush on altertale Toriel but he got rejected so he just made her like him with his Villain Sue mind control.