The Origins of Betatale

Now, basically, there was this bitch that was Genderbent Gaster. We’ll just call her Wendy’s. Now, Asgore’s wife was sick, but Wendy’s was to busy with Prostitution to give a fuck. So Asgore’s wife died at childbirth, along with dababy. So Asgore was pissed the fuck off at her. She was confused, since she assumed she’d be promoted due to killing a superior, because that's how ranks work. Of course, this was retarded thinking and almost got her killed. Anyway, Asgore tried to murder her, so she staged a coup. However, no one liked her, so she was forced to use her plot abilities to stage it. This worked a lot better, and Wendy’s killed Asgore and took over. Because she was angry at the humans for plot reasons, she took two children, Frisk and Chara. Frisk was an overly violent emo edgelord whereas Chara was just a scared little girl. Why do they have such different personalities despite them having the same upbringing? Well, fuck, I don’t know.

Anyway, Wendy’s found her old boyfriend, River. River wanted nothing to do with her, so she had to pressure him at gunpoint to marry her. Since River didn’t want to fucking die, he agreed and they had two kids, Willy Wonka and Adam Sandler. Both of which were skeletons, because fuck you. Willy Wonka shortened his name to Will, because he hated his birthname, but Adam Sandler kept his because it was fucking hilarious. So Will and Adam Sandler were hated by Stellar Milf, erm I mean Stary Mom, Erm, I mean- y’know what? Fuck it. Anyway, River didn’t want to pay child support so he dipped. How? Fuck it, he’s fast. So anyway, Adam Sandler was funny as shit and actually did stuff, so everyone liked him. Willy Wonka just moped around and got angry at the world because he was a fucking loser. Since he was such a loser, Stellar Milf bullied him. Basically everyone hated Willy Wonka, so they all called him that rather than “Will.” Chara felt bad for him though, so they became friends with him. This caused Will to become obsessive towards poor Chara, who themself had little friends, other than their emo brother.

Speaking of their emo brother, he was obsessed with bullying Will, because he was a lazy obnoxious little shit. Since Space Mommy- I mean- FUCK IT. Since Milf Bilf didn’t want to raise the skelebros, she sent them to VERY ANGNAERY FRIASH. Who basically raised them from thereforth. VERY ANGNAERY FRIASH, aka Harley Quinya, was a better mother than Stellar Milf, so she was able to at least make Will have a fucking life. This didn’t mean Frisk stopped harassing Will though, because Frisk is an asshole. Now, Adam Sandler and Willy Wonka were just vibing one day, then an army of weebs came. So, they were fucking bored and fought them. Since they were OP Gary Stus pls nerf they defeated the weeaboos with mostly ease, until Adam Sandler was about to get backstabbed by one, who was revealed to be diavolo because why not. Now Muffet, who wanted to fuck Adam Sandler, tried to beat diavolo, but he just speed blitzed her and she died. Adam Sandler didn’t really give a shit, but killed diavolo anyway. Now, the being known as MOD appeared. Who is he? I don’t fucking know, I’ll tell you later. Since he was a JoJo Fanboy, he teleported in and was about to smash Adam with a road roller.

Willy Wonka did jack all about this, and Muffet was fucking dead, so Adam was about to get rekt. Then suddenly, Comrade Frisk comes in and resets. Frisk kind of forgot what an actual reset fucking does, so Willy Wonka and Adam Sandler wake up in their rooms like “Bro wtf.” So they go to Milf Bilf and ask her what the fuck happened, and she’s like “Shut the fuck up you failed abortions I’m gonna do my experiments.” Then leaves. Will is pissed the fuck off because his mom’s an asshole. So he goes on a walk, where he meets Chara. Chara then asks if he wants to talk about it, because of how upset he seems. So they go to Chara’s house, where he proceeds to smoke a joint, then harass Chara and exploit her kindness. Luckily for Chara, she manages to hit him in the head, and when he wakes up, he’s stopped being a sleazy asshat. Chara goes to their room after Willy Wonka apologizes, then he goes back home where he sees Frisk typing something. Since he isn’t in the mood to fuck around, he overcomes his laziness and beats the shit out of Frisk for being an emo asshole. After stuffing Frisk into his fridge, he goes to the door Frisk was putting a code into.

He opens the panel and attempts to hack it. Because he literally has never studied hacking in his life, he fails and shocks himself. He proceeds to just cut wires until the door opens conveniently. He goes inside to see a bunch of kids in cages and two other skelebois in those cages. He also sees a green test tube thingy. “Jesus fuck, what does mom want with a bunch of kids?” He asks. “Well she-“ one of them says. “Actually I don’t want to know.” He says. Understandably concerned, he tries to free the kids. Until Frisk FALCON KICKS him away. “Well well well.” Galactic Oaf says unoriginally. No, seriously. That’s the most unoriginal line I could’ve used, and I’m angry that I did. But fuck you, this is a parody and I do what I want. “You found a way into this very obvious place you conveniently didn’t notice until now.” Tsar Momba said. “You also beat up my dumbass minion.” She said, “So like, can you not tell people about these kids? Cuz otherwise I’ll have to smite you.” She added. “No! I have t-“ Willy Wonka said, being cut off by The Big Hipper. “PLOT CONVENIENT AMNESIA!” She yelled, casting the magic spell onto Willy Wonka. “Oh uh, ok, anyway, what’s that green test tube?” He asks.

This was a mistake on Will’s part. Fat Malbert went on a rant about how she was going to turn herself into a god and take over the entire Tri-State Area, I mean Multiverse. She threw him out the door and made the door invisible. Willy Wonka got bored and yeeted something with telekinesis. Frisk, who was already angry at getting stuffed in a fridge earlier, uses his super cool hyper anime speed to get behind Willy. “Omae, wa mou s-“ Frisk begins, only for Willy Wonka to punch him in the face. “I can fucking hear you’re behind me, dumbass.” Will said. “OW WHAT THE HELL, YOU BROKE MY NOSE!” Frisk screamed, as he cried on the floor. Jabba The Milf finished her monologue and turned to the two. “Willy Wonka, what the fuck are you doing?” She asked. “Making a reference to Billy Mays.” He said matter-a-factly. As he did this, he grabbed Magic Eraser and began scrubbing it on Frisk’s face.

He had stuffed it full of soap which got in Frisk’s eyes. Frisk had a breakdown and started punching around wildly. “…Is it too late to make Frisk the misunderstood one and Chara the emo maniac?” Intergalactic Momma asked no one in particular. Meanwhile, The Deadbeat Dad came. Yes, I made him male, fuck you. It is here we reveal that Star Momma Bear’s fetish has gotten so bad she’s kidnapped kids from other fucking timelines. Two of which belonged to Deadbeat Dad. Despite this having a high chance of causing devastating effects on the timeline, Wholly Milfooth really couldn’t care less.

Now, out of nowhere, another reset happens, because fuck you. Now Willy Wonka and Adam Sandler wake up in Harley Quinya’s house again, even though earlier it was established the reset point had them wake up in Astral Motherfucker’s house, but I guess they’re waking up here now because fuck you. Now, their bro-bro Dekios came. Why is Papyrus here? Because I just realized I’m making this Sans-centric, so rather than having Papyrus become an actual part of the plot, I’m reducing him to nothing more than an extraordinarily unimportant side character.

Anyway, Papyrus tells Harley Quinya that Mdolf Milfler wants Willy Wonka. Quinya is a huge ass to him even though he was just delivering a message, and basically says: “Fuck you, Fuck her, these kids are mine.” Which is somewhat fair actually, since Milftov Cocktail was an insane pedophile. (Editor’s Note: Ran out of ideas for Puns. Will stop before they become even more excruciatingly painful.)

Will is bored as fuck so goes to see Chara. On the way, he saves a lady from a sword being thrown at her. He then just leaves, allowing the person who threw it to just grab the sword and slice her in half. This makes this plot point completely irrelevant in literally every way. On his way to meet Chara, he finds a protest against Galactic Cuntface, with Spoder Moffet being the loudest. There he finds Chara, and is planning to hang out before Frisk drops in. “Hey, what the fuck are you two doing?” Frisk asks, being an obnoxious little shit as usual. “Jesus fuck even at his worst Will wasn’t this obnoxious.” Chara comments. “B-But he’s making you be in a relationship with him!” Frisk whines. “First of all, I’m not even in a relationship with him, second of all, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Chara asks Frisk. “Just leave me alone Jesus Christ-“ Chara says, leaving. Now Willy Wonka and Frisk are even more mad at each other.

Since Will isn’t the most stagnant asshole and actually has the ability to develop as a person, he refuses to take any more of Frisk’s shit and FALCON PUNCHes him through a building like an epic jojo gamer. He even does a pose. What a chad. Anyway, he returns home after asserting himself as the alpha male, where he finds Papyrus along with one of those skeleton kids. The kid specifically was Harry Potter. The other was Jasus. The reason they were out is because Harry Potter had begged Milf Bilf to let him out for whatever she wanted so sh-

No, I’m not writing that. Fuck you all, I’m not writing that.

Anyway, Will, Papyrus, and Harry are all vibing in one room while Jasus smokes a joint in the other. Will, being bored as shit, proceeds to play a game where he, papyrus, and harry fuck with Jasus while he’s high. They’re having fun, until bitch lady music begins to play. The Tsar Momba comes in and berates them all like a bitch, then leaves after having fulfilled her bitch quota for the day. Harry Potter proceeds to challenge the three bastards to a drinking contest, causing them all to get drunk as shit and get sprawled out across the room. Jasus already had been tho, because he was still high as fuck.

Anyway, back at Ruins HQ, Frisk was being a dick to Chara because she was friends with Will. Chara just asked Frisk why he hated Will so much. “BECAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE LIKE STARRY MOMMY!11” Frisk pouted. “Aren’t you her pride student?” Chara questioned. Frisk pouted some more about how Chara didn’t “understand” him. Chara got sick of this shit and just left. Frisk left to The Baron Karen’s lab to become an Anime ANtagonist

Meanwhile, Will had a cliche foreshadowing Dream of Jasus holding Adam Sandler’s head. “Oi, mate, smokin a fine one.” Jasus said, blowing smoke out of his joint. “JESUS FUCK NO I DON’T WANT YOUR DRUGS” Will screamed as he woke up. He then went to meet Jasus, who had purple smoke blowing out of the hole in his skull. “Oi mate, glad you came.” Jasus said, still smoking. “Why did you make me come here?” He asked. Jasus continued smoking. “Well mate, this’ll end one of two ways.” He said, dropping the drug. He almost never dropped his drug in the middle of a smoke. Willy Wonka staggered back, only to wake up. He eats breakfast with Harley Quinya and Adam Sandler, then he and Adam go outside to have a brotherly chat.

“Ey Adam, how’s it?” Will asked. “Just fine Will, now, straight to the point.” Adam said. “What point?” Will asked. “Now I know ya like Chara, so just ask her out mate.” Adam said. “No I don’t want tooo.” Will whined. “Mate, stop being such a fucking-“ He said, being cut off as the two were teleported to Stellar Milf’s arena of DEATH. Otherwise known as the refurbished ballroom. Hey, she had to make cuts to spending. Gotta budget well. Anyway, she brings Adam, Jasus, Papyrus, Will, and Harry to all fight. She offers a #1 Victory Royale badge to the winner. None of them give a shit though, so she just beats Jasus for fun and lets them all go. Other than Harry. Since I refuse to lower myself to such lows, (Even I have standards, people!) Harry escapes using that one house from Up. Much to Stellar Milf’s dismay. Will’s scared of Jasus, until the four of them get absolutely baked in an alleyway while smoking joints. Other than Papyrus. Will staggers over to a garbage can to piss in it, and wakes up after napping.

Anyway, after that, Chara finds him and brings him to a secret organization of illegal citizens known as Tems. Because Tems are literally the best things ever, I will legally not allow any dark things to happen in this chapter. I forbid it. I don’t care about the original story at this point. One of the tems hurts their leg, so Chara holds it up, as Will ties its leg. Chara lifts it up. “Wow, great job! You did pretty good at that!” Chara said, as Will begins coming in close to look at the adorable little Tem.

Dammit! I must stop the wholesomeness before I start taking this retarded joke fanfic seriously, fucking hell!

Chara and Will leave the Tems, and Frisk begins his obligatory Willy Wonker murder attempt, however Jasus and the bois come to kick his ass. Frisk stands no chance against the chadness of the boys and gets the shit beaten out of him until Chara tells them to stop and brings Frisk home. Adam confronts Willy about being an ass, but he hasn’t been, so they both agree to continue being part of the boys.

Now, this is the part where the genocide route happens. But that chapter is actually so boring and uneventful I can’t write anything funny out of it. I just can’t. So instead, have a wholesome gif of temmie. We’re almost done.

Now, it’s time. Time for the man, the myth, the legend, Jasus, to get his own fucking chapter! Jasus, being bored of this shit, goes to get baked again. But his dealer is gone. He instead meets a cultist. “Hey man, where’s my dealer? I want my fucking drugs, man.” Jasus asks. “Nah dude, we only sell blood here man.” The Cultist says. “Well then FUCK YOU!” Jasus says, flipping the desk over and crushing the cultist against the wall. Before anything else happens, the other cultists cast a magic spell on him. He wakes up in a gray void. “Oi, the fuck is this?” He says, turning. “O shit, it’s fucking Cthulhu!” He said. Fucking Cthulhu was there. “Can we fuse so I don’t die of old age. You can do whatever the fuck you want with my power.” Cthulhu said. “Sweeeeettttt.” Jasus says. The two do a fusshhhhhhhhunnnnnnn dance and fuse into a Horror Sans clone Inspiration. Now, *Couch Couch* Sans is here, but we’ll be calling him HighAssMotherfucker!Sans or Ham!Sans, for short.. Because this whole story is probably just Jasus smoking a joint and dreaming this up.

Now that Ham can do whatever the fuck he wants, he grabs a cigarette, and legit does the joker walk like a lowkey chad. The Cultists get absolutely rekt just by his pure baked energy. Now that they’re dead, Cthulhu, since he’s still apart of Ham!Sans, uses their souls as wisps. How convenient. Anyway, due to how legitimately high Ham is, he’s now a fucking Hyperversal God. He strolls into town to fuck all the bitches and kill the boys. But he’s already fucked all the bitches. When he’s about to fuck Chara, Will interferes like a simp and FALCOUN KICKS Ham out of the way. Despite Ham being hyperversal, Will can still hurt him. Ham doesn’t really give a shit and summons his super edgy epic gaster blaster and fires it at Will. Will tries to block with his own, but it’s way too weak. Only for Papyrus to come in and punch Ham in the face, causing him to lose focus and The Gaster Blaster to not fire.

Harry Potter and Adam Sandler arrive. Now the bois are here, and Ham is fucking screwed. Frisk and Wendy’s are getting the fuck out of here. Frisk, not being 100% a prick, only 99.5%, goes to save Chara. Frisk rolls in and does that, so now the boys are free to fight Ham. Ham becomes a fucking Eldritch Monster and tears the entire city apart, and tears a rift in the ground for him to fit in so he can still see the four. Harry Potter starts by shooting several bones at Ham, who swerves to the side, evading them effortlessly. Ham yells angrily, as lightning comes down at the four. They all dodge, as Papyrus leaps into the air. Adam Sandler uses telekinesis to throw him at Ham. Papyrus flips into the air, bringing his leg down on Ham’s head. Ham screams in rage, as Papyrus leaps off.

“Nice shot, It’ll take me 11 seconds to top this one.” Harry Potter said. “In your goddamn dreams.” Papyrus said. Harry Potter leapt onto one of the buildings, grabbing it, as he kicked it into the air. “Will, cover me!” He said. Ham stabbed his tentacles at Harry and the building, only for Will to summon his bone, sharpening the end as he sliced the tentacles off. He tossed a new bone to Harry Potter, who slammed the building straight into Ham’s eye. He roared in pain. As it turned out, I had been bluffing when I called Ham a hyperversal being. He wasn’t nearly that strong. Harry Potter used telekinesis to pull Ham’s eye out, half blinding him. “I got this.” Will said, as he ran at Ham. Ham stabbed with his tentacles twice, as Will evaded them. The Ground shook, as beams of dark energy came out of it. Will slid to the side, evading those. The ground shook, as tentacles came out of it, trying to hit Will. He kicked one out of the way, as he slid under another two. He continued running at Ham. He leapt up, as a tentacle went at him. He grabbed it, flipping off it into the air, as Chara yelled up to him. He turned, as they threw Space Momma’s SUPER ULTRA dagger.

Will caught it, as Ham screamed in rage, thunder struck as Will brought the dagger down. He sliced Ham clean in two, as Ham stopped there for a moment. “W-w-wh-“ He stuttered, as he exploded. He split into a miniature Cthulhu and a sleeping Jasus. “I’ll return! You haven’t seen the last of me!” Cthulhu squeaked. “I’ll get a new body, and when I do, you wil-“ He said, being cut off by Chara stomping on him. “Cthulhu’s Return: Coming Never.” Will commented. He turned to Jasus. Jasus, however, was still a Horror Sans clone. Adam Sandler walked over. “Oi, Ja-“ He stuttered, as an axe went through his chest. Jasus stood, cackling like a maniac. “Oi mate, finally free of that *STUPID* fucking *SQUID!*” He yelled. “ADAM!” Will screamed, now suddenly caring a lot about his brother even though he’d been so-so about him throughout most of the story.

Harry leapt at Jasus. Jasus tossed a book aside, as Harry was sucked in. Jasus slammed his axe into the ground, as within a second, everything was gone.

William awoke to the sound of crying. He got up. He saw Chara, looking far more angelic than he even saw her normally. He ran over, as she went up steps. “William, you can’t come with me. The world needs you.” She said, “But I want to come with you!” He said. She looked him in the eyes. “I will always be with you.” She said. He turned to see Adam nod to him solemnly. He suddenly felt everything falling apart. “W-WHAT’S GOING ON?!” He screamed, as he was sucked through a portal through all his suffering and horror.

He awoke in the middle of an empty void, as Jasus sat on a rock, sharpening his axe. “So you are alive. Interesting.” Jasus said, as he stood. “How fucking dare you.” William said, now full of anime protagonist rage. “How dare I what? There’s nothing you can punish me with.” Jasus said. William paused, knowing he really couldn’t respond to that. “Now, William, it is time FOR YOUR END!” He yelled, throwing his axe. William suddenly saw time slow. He stumbled away from the axe, as he saw it in mid-air. As Jasus stood mid-throw. He heard a robotic, alien voice. “Greetings.”

“I am Ben-Ten-No-Camila.” It said, “How may I help you?” It questioned. “What is happening?” He asked. “I sensed corruption in Alphatale Timeline #9134, so I came to stop it.” Kami said. “So you’re some sort of God?” He asked. “Yes. I am a god.” It responded simply. William began to sweat. “W-what’s wrong with timeline #9134?” He asked. “Well, actually, I could count trillions of details, but the major one is him.” It said, pointing at Jasus. “However, I am not to directly attack him.” It said, giving William a harddrive. “This is the most I can do. Bring this to the anti-void city of…” It said, grabbing a map with a tentacle and inspecting it. “Ah! Tundratown! Lovely!” It said, handing him the map. “Bring this to The Mayor, he will unlock something which can stop your rival over here.” Kami said.

“W-where is The Anti-void?” He asked. “I’m so ever glad you asked!” It responded, shoving him. He stumbled back through a portal, as he fell. “Anyway, before you continue, your moniker from now on is Error404. It is not William or-“ It paused. “…Willy Wonka.” It said with clear annoyance of the name. “Now, on your journey helping you will be Error182, or as you know him, “Papyrus.” Ben-Ten-No-Camila said. “Mmm hmmm, so where am I on this map?” Error404 asked. “Here.” Kami said, pointing. “Now, I’ve spent far enough time, so long!” It said, disappearing. “Well, I’ve got no choice. Error404 said, looking at his new clothes and sighing.

A new adventure begins…